Refuge in the Night
by SirDigby
Summary: A story about how Grissom and Sara meet for the first time while Sara's a college student and he's a professor at a seminar, and of the love story that ensues...
1. Bad Day

_**Author's Note: I am aware that this fic contains some 'geographical inaccuracies' (to say the least), but since I'm from nowhere near Harvard I was basing my knowledge on some very sketchy sources at the time, and in hindsight decided not to 'fix' it as I believe in now owning but also wearing out our mistakes. Sorry for the stupid mistakes.**_

Even the insomniacs were well tucked in. It was a wonderful night - chilly, but not too cold for one to wonder along in. All over campus the songs and chirps of inconspicuous night animals played, and in the distance a car occasionally passed by on the main avenue. Scarlet lights loomed down from the street-lights through the trees, casting pale shadows on the grass.  
It was in these shadows that she enjoyed walking. She would listen to the sounds of the night; look around at the leaves falling down from the trees, covering the grass and cement pavements.  
At this hour of the night anyone wandering through the streets and parks of Harvard was suspicious just for the mere fact that they weren't dreaming it. At this hour, any warm-blooded creature going through the parks alone, let alone without a specific purpose or direction, would be a mystery.

Anyone but Sara Sidle.

She got to the bridge and looked over at the great river. She didn't know what it was about that place that made her always come back at night. Maybe it was the sound of water, the clear reflection of the city lights or perhaps it was just the dizziness she felt whenever she looked down and thought of how it would be to swim in those waters. She reminded herself how filthy those rivers usually were, and realized she had better turn back and go back to her studying.  
She then decided to turn around and continue on walking back to her dorm house, but in fact it took her another full hour to actually turn around and do so.

**Refuge in the Night  
**A "C.S.I: Crime Scene Investigation" based fan fiction.  
All rights to "C.S.I: Crime Scene Investigation" belong to CBS.  
A million thanks to Marlou who beta-read the story over and over again.

Chapter 1 – Bad day "Sidle!"  
Sara felt a strange pain in her arm.  
"Hey, Sidle!"  
She suddenly realize she was in the lecture hall, and that she was probably caught sleeping. She lifted her head and saw some student whose name she didn't know standing next to her.  
"Class is over" he said.  
Sara looked around her and saw most of the hall was already empty, and only here and there some students were still gathering their things, or talking about this and that.  
"Thanks" she said and started organizing her things.  
"Yeh, sure" the student said and Sara had a feeling he wanted something of her.  
She looked up to him. "Yes?"  
"You're blocking my exit" he said.  
Sara stared at him, stared at her legs, stared at the seat in front of her, and only then realized that she was indeed blocking his exit and stood up to allow him to pass.  
"Get some sleep, Sidle" he said and walked away.  
"Yeah, sure" she said and packed her things, also walking out.

Harvard looked different by day. People were everywhere; walking, talking, sitting on the grass or on the benches with their books open and their eyes mostly shut. Sara entered the cafeteria and after grabbing a tray and taking a bowl with some salad and a sandwich with several unidentified components, she sat at a table next to some people she knew.

"Hey Sara" said John Conrad, one of the many people on Campus she knew but wasn't really sure where from.  
"Hey" she said and smiled. Around the table also sat Bobby Correly and Donna McCrea, her roommate.  
"So, Sidle" said Bobby who was also eating some unidentified mutation of a sandwich. "Are you coming to the game tonight?"  
"Sara doesn't like basketball" Donna said.  
Sara looked at Donna and said "No, I don't", but she actually meant 'I can speak for myself'.  
Bobby smirked. "Heh, so you're going to just wander off in Campus again?"  
"It would still be far more productive" she smirked back at him and went back to her salad. A discomforting silence followed, until Donna decided to break the calm. "So… How was the lecture, Sara?"  
"I don't know, I slept through most of it" she replied. "I guess it was ok."  
Silence again.  
"I gotta go to practice" Bobby said and got up. "Later Baby" he kissed Donna and got up and away.  
"I better go as well" Johnny started getting up too.  
"Later, Johnny"  
Sara and Donna remained there and said nothing. Donna once again broke the silence: "So what's going on, Sidle?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"You know what I mean. You have your entire schedule upside down; I can tell you're not feeling well."  
"I'm just not a day person, I guess" she said. "And besides, the weekend's coming; it'll be my chance to catch up on some sleep."  
"I don't buy it" Donna said. "And besides, you said you're coming with me and Bobby to the frat party"  
"Not this time, Donna" Sara said coldly and stood up. "Sorry."  
Donna looked up at Sara. "You need to loosen up a little, Sara, or you'll lose college" she said to her. "By the time you wake up, you might realize it's too late." Sara just stared at her. "And I'm not talking about sleep, this time."  
Sara knew Donna was right. That's exactly why she just walked back a couple of steps and said nothing, right before turning back and heading to the dorms.

It was already evening when she got out of the cafeteria. All the green turned yellow, the red turned scarlet, and the people turned tired. Sara took her time and walked the long route. She didn't really want to get back to her room; she didn't like the feeling of 'calling it a day' so early. But, nevertheless, that's exactly what she did.  
When she finally got to her room she suddenly realized she couldn't find her keys. She looked inside her bag and saw that neither her keys nor her shades were in it. She specifically recalled putting them both in there.  
Another quick glimpse at the bottom of the bag showed that it was actually only half a bottom, as there was a pretty nasty hole menacingly threatening to tear the entire bag.  
"Awww, great" Sara said aloud. "This can't be happening."  
She was locked outside, and she had just turned her back on Donna.  
Could this day get any worse?  
Frustrated, Sara leaned her head on the door, which immediately opened to the inside, almost knocking her completely flat down on the floor. Gaining balance, Sara came to a very sudden stop when she saw what was going on inside the room…  
The contents of various drawers were scattered all over the floor, their mattresses were upside down, and the entire place looked like a disaster area. Sara didn't think too much. She just ran to the phone and immediately called the dorm house management.  
"Yes, Mrs. Lawrence, this is Sara Sidle from room 315. Yes, I know it's late, but it's an emergency. There's been a break-in at my apartment."

"I can't believe this is happening!" Donna freaked out.  
Sara just looked inside and frowned. "I don't know Donna. Nothing seems to be actually missing."  
Donna still seemed alarmed, and Sara was about to say something when a police officer came from inside of the apartment.  
"Ladies" he approached. "I'm Inspector Bane." Both Donna and Sara just nodded.  
"Ms. Sidle, you said in your preliminary statement that nothing of value was missing"  
"Yes, that is correct." she answered and thought it over again.  
"How about things of no value, such as clothing, personal artifacts, minor things?"  
"I don't know, actually" Sara thought. "I didn't look into it much; I only made sure our safe was intact."  
"I understand," the inspector said and scribbled some stuff onto his notepad. "The reason I'm asking is that it seems as if whoever broke in, was looking for something specific."  
Sara and Donna crossed looks. This was getting ugly.  
"And it also seems that whoever it was, he or she had a key." That got both girls by surprise. Sara, however, started to get a basic idea of where this was going. "We'll know more after we examine the crime scene some more."  
"Crime scene?" both girls snapped.  
"That's our home, Inspector!" Donna was upset.  
"We will of course reinstitute you to a temporary quarters" the dorm manager, who was also there, said calmly.  
"I apologize for the inconvenience" the inspector said and walked back in.  
"That's just great", Donna kept walking back and forth.  
"Donna, I lost my keys sometime today" Sara admitted.  
"You did b what/b "  
"But no one could have known that those were MY keys, it's not marked or anything."  
"Sara, someone could have seen you dropping it! Besides, my keys are right here!" she waved them at Sara as if to show that she could keep her things together.  
Sara felt her head was about to explode. She knew that those were probably her keys that the entry was made with, but Donna was over-reacting, it wasn't like it was her fault she lost them.  
"Well I'm sorry, Donna, but accidents happen."  
"No, Sara" Donna started walking back. "There's 'accidents', and there's mere stupidity."  
This time Donna was the one to turn her back on Sara. "I'll be sleeping over at Bobby's."  
Sara sighed and turned to enter back into the room, where she was met with a very friendly yellow ribbon who told her quite firmly that she was on the limit of a crime scene, and that she could not enter.

Sara cursed. She knew it couldn't have been her keys that were used in the break in; she had just lost them a couple of hours ago. She decided that perhaps she's ought to go find them. She knew that as far as Donna's concerned it was still her fault, but at least she'd have her own peace of mind to hold on to. This had certainly not been a good day for that.

It was already late when Sara went looking for her keys. Her temporary quarters were being prepared by the dorm manager, so in the meantime she decided to take a short walk. Sara was amused to see that as opposed to her usual night-walks, this time there were still people all around. She took a glimpse at her watch and realized it wasn't late enough for the streets to be empty. Odd, she could have sworn it was much later. She walked on to the Science Center where she still saw some lights from some of the windows. She took another glimpse at her watch. As far as she knew, there were even some lectures still going on. She sighed and walked in. The lights were dim inside, which lent it a dark and serene glow. Sara looked for the hall where the lecture earlier that afternoon had taken place. That's probably where she had lost her keys.  
She still couldn't believe Donna blamed her for the entire thing. First she blamed her of not having a life, and then this. She was so out of line! Sara did SO have a life! She went to parties, she dated. She might have been a little reluctant about both of those activities, but she did it nonetheless!  
Sara walked into the hall where the lecture was earlier. Some people were in there, all by themselves, nobody talking to anyone. Sara wondered what they were doing there, and started looking for her row, somewhere at the back of the hall, she recalled. She walked up to it and started walking inside, looking down at the floor for any sign of the keys. As she passed the middle isle suddenly the lights went off in most of the hall except for the stage area. Sara cursed and wished she had a flashlight. She got to where she sat earlier and started to feel around the floor, hoping to find the keys. She now also wished she had a pair of gloves. Suddenly her hand hit on something. She picked it up – her shades! The keys could not have been far. She felt around some more and heard a chiming of clinging metals. She picked up the keys and heaved a big sigh. So she was right, her keys had nothing to do with it, they were here all this time. She just stared at the keys for a second and stood up.  
"Would everybody please take their seats?" the lecturer entered the stage area.  
Sara continued walking towards the exit when the lecturer coughed.  
"Yes, you in the back there" he said.  
"Oh, no, I just…" Sara said and turned to the stage. The lecturer raised an eyebrow.  
"I just…" she started to explain that she was on her way out, but when the lecturer added a little smile to that look she just sighed, frowned and sat down.  
She had nowhere else to go anyway.  
"Thank you" the lecturer seemed quite pleased with himself.  
"Well…" he took a second to rearrange his pages.  
"Yes" he took a deep breath. "Welcome everybody. My name is Gil Grissom, and I'll be conducting this five part evening lecture about Forensic Science and the scientific link."


	2. Nicely Put, Sara Sidle

**Chapter 2 – Nicely put, Sara Sidle**  
Sara woke up rather early to the sound of somebody getting into the apartment. It took her a second to realize she was not at her usual apartment and to recognize her temporary room.  
"Donna, is that you?"   
"Yeah, I came to put my stuff here" came the reply from the other room.  
"Why, they didn't fit at Bobby's?" Sara almost heard herself saying, but held it back at the last moment. She was too tired to be evil.  
Sara got out of bed and walked into the kitchen, which doubled as the living room and actually the ONLY other room in the house.  
"Listen, Sara" Donna started.  
Sara didn't say a thing, but just faced her.  
Donna looked at her for a second and then continued - "I'm sorry about last night."   
"Ok" Sara gave half a nod.  
"I was… I don't know… It's just that I was…"  
"You were stressed and upset and were looking for someone to blame."  
Donna paused at the straightforward description, but went on.  
"Yes, I probably did"  
Sara seemed indifferent.  
"Look Sara, I shouldn't have put it all on you, I'm so sorry"  
"It's ok, really" Sara gave a hint of a smile.  
"So, friends again?" Donna smiled widely.  
"Sure" Sara smiled again as if by request. Donna on the other hand leaped at her and hugged her. Sara just smiled through it. Not that she wasn't also glad she cleared the water with Donna, but she just wasn't exactly the 'touchy feely' type. At least not so early in the morning and before her cup of coffee.  
  
***  
  
"This coffee sucks" Donna exclaimed and spat it back into the cup.  
Sara smiled. "Well, what else would you expect from a 25 cent coffee that comes out of a machine?"  
"I dunno, some coffee, perhaps?"  
"You're so naive" Sara smirked and sipped on her own personal cup of coffee. Sara didn't mind spending a little more if only to get a decent mixture of milk, water and caffeine. Maybe even some sugar if she felt like it.  
"So, what were you up to last night?" Donna asked from behind her cup.  
"Oh…" Sara smiled politely. "Nothing much. Just wondering around."  
"Right." Donna sipped from her cup again, and stared at Sara.   
"I got home late, hardly got any sleep" Sara added. "And I have a long day today."  
"Yeah, I know, Thursdays are always a major stress-out for you."  
Sara just nodded. "Hmmhmm" she got up. "I really have to go now, sorry."  
"Sure, no problem," Donna said easily. Obviously something was still between them, and Donna didn't feel comfortable with that. She'd just let Sara go through the day, it would likely pass.  
  
***  
  
Sara walked to her first class of the day. She hated small talk and just wanted to end the conversation with Donna as soon as possible.   
She was still mad at her for wrongfully accusing her, but she knew it'd blow over during the day.  
The events of last night flashed again through her head. Everything starting with the break-in, how she feared what would be found, or rather lost, once the police would give them back their apartment. Then she recalled the lecture she accidentally stumbled onto, the one about forensic science. She recalled enjoying the lecture very much. It was interesting, but more than anything it was just a chance for her to get away. Sure, she had some escapism in classes during the day, but that lecture last night was different. Maybe it was the late hour; maybe it was the way the darkness had covered her, allowing her to take refuge in the intoxicating sensation that she was alone. Or perhaps, maybe it was the sweet voice of the lecturer, which was as soft as the water running down a river, yet still so strong and confident. His words seemed to just lift you up and carry you away, full of knowledge and strength. And there was something blue about… "Sidle!" …something about a wall, and… "Sidle, are you day dreaming?"  
"What?"   
"You almost walked into a wall!"  
Sara shook herself out of it, looked at the great wall in front of her, looked up at the clock that was hanging above it, and realized that she was as late to class as Elvis Presley …. The Late!  
  
***  
  
When all of their classes ended Donna and Sara met next to their apartment, the real one this time. The detective at the scene told them that they had finished processing the scene, and that they would like for them to see if anything's missing. The girls entered the room and started looking around. First thing Sara did was to check her personal drawer. All of her stuff was still there and in it's usual place. On top there were the letters from her parents, in the usual order, beneath them, lay her photo album, with photos of herself in different ages, photos of her and parents and friends from back home, and that sort of stuff. Beneath those lay her diary, which she hadn't touched in weeks now. Sara closed her drawer, realizing nothing had happened to it.  
Donna on the other hand was in a frenzy. All of her stuff was messed up; her drawers were thrown on the bed, and most of her belongings had black powder on it, which the detective explained was used to check for fingerprints. While Donna was assessing the damage, Sara walked into the bathroom. The bathroom too had black dust in several places, and Sara especially noticed the drug cabinet.   
"Anything missing in there?" the detective noticed she took special interest in the drug cabinet.  
"No, no, that's not it," Sara said. "But everything's out of order."  
"Someone was going through this, apparently." he said.  
"Looking for something specific, perhaps?" Sara seemed intrigued. "A drug, maybe?"  
"Probably just sniffing around," he said. "We didn't find any prints, anyway, so we can't tell WHAT exactly he touched. But you say nothing's missing, right?"  
"Right." Sara looked again.  
"So it doesn't matter much" he said and closed the cabinet. "Take a look around to see if you find anything else out of order. If everything else is ok we'll clean this place up."  
Sara took another look around. Nothing seemed to be out of order. She turned and walked out of the bathroom and saw her roommate sitting on the bed, holding her personal stuff, almost crying.  
"What's not ruined is missing." Donna looked up at Sara and the inspector.  
"Anything in particular?" The inspector took out his notepad again.  
"I don't know," Donna seemed puzzled. "Perhaps a dress or two, a night gown maybe, I can't really tell."  
"I'll give you girls a couple more minutes to look around. We'll probably get this place clean by the evening and you could go back in later tonight. If after you come back you find anything else out of order, anything suspicious, here's my card." he handed it to Sara.  
"Thanks." Sara smiled at him and went back to her drawers to see if anything else was missing. Nothing was. It had occurred to her that she probably wasn't just lucky, but she didn't really know where to go with this. She didn't really think about it, she left that kind of thinking to the detectives. She just wanted to get out of there, to get away.  
She knew just the place - and it was just the time. And so, without too many words, she told Donna she was going out and started heading towards the science center.  
  
***  
  
"We've already established that a criminal investigator can rely on only one thing, and that are the facts. Furthermore, an investigator has to see the whole picture before he can come to any kind of conclusion, because just like a puzzle, without having found the place of every single piece, anything you might have or not have on the puzzle board is a cause for speculation and interpretation."  
  
The lecturer paused for a second to let his words sink in. There were fewer students today than last time, but again the entire hall was dark, which made numbers irrelevant, as each and every one of the students felt as if he was alone with the lecturer. For him, though, the darkness was so that he could feel alone with himself, it helped him concentrate.  
  
"As we go back to observe a science like physics, we have to realize that almost everything we're examining in this part of science is based on theories and philosophies, while at the same time those very same theories are based on the most solid facts of all - numbers. A criminal investigator works very much the same way. Based on the evidence, a scientist must come up with a theory of what happened in each and every crime scene. It may be called a 'theory', but in fact it must be based on solid facts - on evidence. Any part of the theory that cannot be linked directly to any piece of evidence collected is futile."  
  
***  
"This concludes part two of "Forensic Science and the scientific link." Now, if there aren't any questions…" the lecturer concluded and the lights in the hall lit up just a little. A couple of seconds passed, and just as the lecturer opened his mouth to say something to the sort of ending the meeting, someone stood up in the front and raised his hand.  
"Yes, you in the front." the lecturer said  
"George Manning, Physics Senior. Professor Grissom, I have to say that I tend to disagree with some of your concepts about the uses of different sciences. You said earlier that different sciences end up serving the same purpose and that in the eyes of a criminal investigator different sciences are just like different tools in a box. I disagree; I for one think that some sciences are more important than others, and some areas of science are thus less important in the search for a specific answer to a specific question."  
Professor Grissom took a second to think about what the student had said. "Anyone thinks otherwise?"  
Someone in the middle rows lifted his hand. "You there." the lecturer pointed at him.  
"Daniel Samuels, Math Major. I tend to agree with Mr. Manning here, Professor. Take physics for example. It's a science that explores the realms of existence, but it'd be nothing without a completely different science - mathematics. Without mathematics, there'd be no physics; one is the building stone of the other."  
"So what you're saying is that math is actually a tool for physics," Manning, the Physics student said. Grissom smiled, this was getting interesting. "In that case, one science serves as a tool for the other - which contradicts what Professor Grissom was trying to establish - that all sciences are equal."  
"But what is Science itself, if not a tool in the hand of man?"  
Everybody's eyes turned back to the back row. Professor Grissom, on the other hand, put on his glasses, leaned on the lit stand, and looked up at the back.  
"Oh, I'm sorry," the figure stood up. "Sara Sidle, Professor Grissom. Physics 2nd."   
The lecturer took a second to lean back a little and with half a smile took his things in his hands. "Nicely put, Sara Sidle, Physics 2nd."   
And with that he just turned and left the stage, leaving everybody in the hall a little confused, and one young physics student feeling very complimented.  



	3. Creatures of the Night

**Chapter 3 – Creatures of the Night**  
Sara woke up around noon at the temporary apartment. It was Friday, so there were no classes for her today, and she and Donna were supposed to go back to their apartment and clear up the mess. Donna was already there, so Sara just picked up her stuff and went out of the room. After returning the key to the dorm master, she headed back to their apartment.  
"I'm definitely missing a gown or two." Donna was already there, arranging her closet.  
Sara sat on the bed and looked around her. There wasn't much to attend to on her side of the room, so she just walked off to Donna's and started helping her pick up clothes from the floor.  
"It's not that I care too much for this or that gown, but it's frightening." Donna felt like she needed an excuse to freak out.  
"I know what you mean," Sara finally spoke. Donna didn't say a thing, but only opened one of her bottom drawers and took out a pack of cigarettes. Lighting one, she just leaned back against the wall. Sara gave her a look, and when she realized that Donna was either missing or blatantly ignoring that look, she added "You know I don't like it when you do that."  
"Hey, live and let die, ok?" Donna was not in the mood for lectures.  
"That's not what I meant." Sara sighed. "If you're going to smoke, at least do it at the window, this place already stinks as it is."  
"Sorry" Donna said and moved to the window. "So, where have you been going to in the last couple of nights? And don't give me that 'hanging around' story, I don't buy it."  
Sara tried to hide a smile, but Donna knew her just all too well. "Well, you'll laugh at me if I told you."  
"Come on, Sidle, you're not the loner you'd like everybody to think you are," Donna giggled and put the cigarette back to her mouth. "And the last time I asked you about it you got the same silly smile you have right now."  
"See, now you're fishing." Sara said amusingly. "It's just this late night lecture I've been going to."  
"Oh, come on, you're just too lame," Donna twisted. "Predictable, but lame nonetheless."  
Sara had learned long ago not to be insulted by Donna's frequent remarks about other peoples' 'state of coolness', as the latter often called it, so all she could do was smile.  
"Well, there's also this lecturer, who's quite…"  
"Oh, shit!" Donna interrupted. "I'm going out with Bobby tonight, gotta hit the shower." With that Donna just jumped across the room and disappeared into the shower.   
  
***  
  
Sara didn't do much that day. She didn't like weekends, there was never anything to do, everything was slow and people were usually out of the campus. Sara just spent the afternoon rearranging her closet, studying a little, reading a book… Evening came, and Sara thought to herself how shameful it is that the Forensic Sciences lecture won't be taking place during the entire weekend – the long weekend. So until Monday, she had to find a different way to occupy herself in the evening. It was not that she didn't have a life, occasionally, but this weekend nothing seemed to be happening anyway, so she didn't feel quite as guilty as she usually did when she spent Friday night at home.  
Sara was lying on bed, leaning on the wall and holding a book to her knee. She didn't notice the time, but it felt like something was missing. Sara put down the book and looked outside. It was dark, and from where she was sitting she could only see the treetops in the park, crimson-lit by the always flaring streetlights.  
It wasn't long before she found herself wondering down in the park, again in the shadows. Once again she listened to the sound of different night animals singing all around her, and once again watched the leaves fall from the trees. She looked around her, stared at the leaf-filled pavements in the empty streets of Campus, stared at the crimson treetops, stared at the black star-filled skies, and suddenly realized how pathetically boring her life had become. Things just didn't seem as new and exciting as they usually did. She felt as if she was going nowhere; the trees were futile, the shadows were neglective, and the night no longer provided the refuge she once found so comforting. Sara sighed and walked on to her usual places, passing through the drunks in the avenues, the lovers in the parks, and finally arriving at the empty bridge. She walked to the edge and looked down at the water as she always did. At least it still flowed in the right direction. Sara suddenly felt something stinging her in the back. She instinctively smacked the back of her neck, and continued on staring, thinking nothing of it. It was lonely on the bridge, and it was very quiet. So quiet she could hear the waters flowing, the bugs singing, and the soft voice telling her that if the mosquitoes bothered her she'd better stay away from the water because that's where they dwell.  
Sara turned slowly to the source of the voice. She met with the smile of Gil Grissom, the lecturer from the Forensic Sciences lectures. She smiled at him, lacking any other response fit for such an unexpected presence.  
Gil Grissom smiled back at her and leaned on the railing. After a moment of silence, Sara reminded herself it was rude to stare.  
"So…" she began, "Come here often, Professor Grissom?"  
"You forget I'm not from around here." he commented.  
'God, I'm stupid!' Sara thought to herself.  
"Do you… always take long walks, so late at night?" she mumbled. 'Will I ever learn to talk?'  
"Occasionally," he said. "I'm just very fascinated with this Campus. It's so full of life and knowledge during the day, but so empty and deserted during the night."  
"Is that the reason your lectures are at night?" Sara intrigued.  
Professor Grissom seemed to be caught off guard.  
"Is that why you're here now?" she added softly.  
Grissom just smiled at her. "Well, you're here as well."  
Sara looked down and smiled to herself, embarrassed. Another moment passed without anything being said and they both just turned to the river and looked over at the city lights reflected on the river.   
"You know, you're very perceptive," he said. "I like the way you think"  
Sara didn't say a thing but just kept staring at the river, blushing.   
"I have a challenge for you, Ms. Sidle."  
"Call me Sara." she said.  
"I have a challenge for you, Sara", he gave Sara a moment, as if to brace herself, and then continued; "Say there's a pipeline in front of you. Only two meters of the pipe are revealed before you, so you do not see where it starts or where it ends. Inside the pipe there's a steady stream of water, and the pipe is of course completely opaque. Your challenge is to find out in which direction do the waters flow. You can not bend the pipe or harm it in any way, nor can you interfere with the flow of the water. You are however allowed to touch the pipe's exterior."  
Professor Grissom stopped for a second to let his words sink in.  
"Think about it." he added in conclusion.  
Sara was overwhelmed by the amount of data flowing in to her mind, and as she was about to speak, Grissom stopped her. "Ah, ah," he said. "Don't answer now, think about it a little."  
"So, do you give this to all your girl students?" she inquired, quite amused.  
"Only those I meet on bridges late at night." he smiled and leaned off the railing, as if about to leave.  
"Well, can I give you my answer tomorrow?" she asked him.  
"That depends" he said, and noticing he was not about to elaborate, Sara naturally asked "Depends on what?"  
"On whether or not you'll be here tomorrow night as well." he said and started walking. "Good Night, Sara."  
"Good night, Professor."  
Professor Grissom smiled and turned away, disappearing into the shadows.  
Sara leaned back on the railing and stared again at the waters. Professor Grissom was weird, she thought to herself. Then again, no one can be all too normal while wondering around here so late at night. Sara sighed and started walking back to her dorm house. This time, as she walked passed the lovers in the park, the drunks in the avenues and the leaf filled pavements, she just ignored them and kept on walking, thinking mostly about how she wanted to impress the professor tomorrow. And she still hadn't begun thinking about his riddle…  



	4. The Unexpected Coffee Date

**Chapter 4 – The unexpected coffee date**  
"What if you freeze a part of it?" Donna said as she sat on the bed. She came in about a couple of hours after Sara got home, and the latter was naturally in bed but not yet sleeping.   
"It would've been a good idea" Sara said, "except for the fact that you can't interfere with the flow of the water".   
"I don't get it" Donna said. "If you can't do anything to the pipe, how can you know what's inside?"  
"See, the basic law of physics is that everything affects the world around it, so you don't have to actually DO anything; sometimes observing is enough".  
Donna just sighed. "Where do you dig those riddles?"  
"I saw it in a physics show on the National Geographic Channel" Sara lied.  
"Oh" Donna said and turned off her headlight.   
"So how did your date with Bobby go?" Sara asked, and her voice carried her genuine interest in the subject.  
"It was great, until that idiot Mark Anderson started harassing us and Bobby and him got into a fight".  
"Oh my God. Anything serious?"  
"Nah, just boys being boys" Donna smirked. "I pulled us out of there as quickly as I could, before anything serious happened."  
"That's good" Sara noted.  
"That's a skill!" Donna smiled with pride. "Anyway, the idiot was probably drunk or something, you know how it goes".  
"Yeah" Sara said, and without too much pondering just fell asleep.  
  
***  
  
Sara hated Saturdays. We've already established that she hated weekends, but Saturdays and Sundays came across as the worst. Nothing just seemed to happen, ever. Donna and Bobby were away from campus, visiting Bobby's aunt, and Sara didn't feel like hanging out with any of her fellow students, because as friendly as they might have been, she didn't really feel comfortable spending too much time with any of them. Instead Sara just spent the entire afternoon studying, reading, talking to her parents on the phone, and sometimes watching TV, when she needed a break from studying.   
She knew she was only waiting for the coming of nightfall.   
And indeed it came.  
Sara took a shower and stared at the metal water pipe with a smile. She knew in which direction the water was flowing because of where it came out of. She then realized that the water wouldn't be flowing if it wasn't for pressure and started analyzing the forces of pressure and physics. She placed both her hands on the pipe, and tried to feel in which direction they were flowing. She didn't, of course. She felt the flow itself, just barely, but not the direction. She almost had another idea, when the hot water ran out and she had to jump out of the shower and clean up. It was already late, but Sara took her time. Professor Grissom and her didn't actually set a time to meet in; they just… agreed to meet.  
Sara looked in her closet. She had some nice looking clothes, but all of them were very casual. It's not that she didn't like them, but she felt the need to dress up tonight, because this time she knew that she wasn't going to be alone later on tonight. Sara suddenly realized what a silly smile she must be wearing, but she didn't mind in the least. She looked outside, and again it was dark. She smiled. Again. Now she just had to find some possible answers for Professor Grissom's riddle…  
  
***  
  
Sara stood on the bridge, staring as usual at the far city lights. Occasionally she would sneak a look to her left and right, testing the grounds, checking if professor Grissom was arriving, but she tried to make it look casual, as if not to get caught looking for him.  
Little did she know that from behind the shadows, a pair of eyes were examining her as well, waiting for the right moment to emerge.  
He walked slowly towards her, not making even the smallest of sounds, and as he stood behind her he gently noted what a beautiful evening it was.  
Sara wasn't even startled. Instead she just slowly turned to him and agreed.  
Professor Grissom gestured with his hand towards the road, and Sara just smiled and joined him. They walked slowly side by side towards the park, for the first couple of seconds, not really saying anything, and then to break the ice Sara mentioned that she thought of a couple of possible solutions for his riddle. She mentioned Donna's theory of freezing the pipe, and admitted that she herself had thought of it until she recalled that he had said that you couldn't alter the flow. Grissom on the other hand didn't respond much, just looked around him, leaning an ear here and there to listen to this or that bug, and smiled as he recognized the different species. It's not that he wasn't listening to her, it's just that he was having trouble participating in the conversation. Occasionally he'd mention this or that species of insect that he'd recognize just by hearing. At one of those times she told him his hearing is very sharp, but he just dismissed that, saying that it's not about one's hearing, but rather about one's willingness to listen.   
And then it started raining.  
Sara of course immediately took cover under her coat, but a glimpse at the professor showed that he was caught off guard. Sara realized that being unaccustomed to the local climate could get a guy really trapped. At first he tried to ignore the occasional drops of water, but after a minute or so he found out first hand where the phrase 'when it rains – it pours' came from. He offered to go and find some dry cover, and she agreed. They started running towards the nearby commercial zone, and Grissom was soaking wet after only a couple of steps. Sara raised one of the wings of her big heavy coat, wrapping it around his instinctively bent body, and together they ran until they entered the commercial area, where they found a coffee shop still open. Without hesitation they ran inside, and asked to be seated as close as possible to one of the heating units. The poor professor was soaked to the bone, and obviously cold, so as they sat Sara gave him her coat to wrap himself up in. The waiter came up to them, and although they only came in for the heaters and the roof above their heads, they both knew that they had to order something if they wanted to sit there, so while they were at it they ordered some coffee. The waiter was also kind enough to give Grissom a big warm towel. Sara looked at him and giggled. He looked like a lost puppy; wet, cold and homeless in the middle of a cold winter night. He frowned at her laughter. She apologized, still quite amused. He returned a smile  
  
***  
  
"So I've been thinking" she said over her cup of coffee. "If I can't touch the pipe, but I have to examine it… How about if I blast it with an electro-magnetic field on one side of the pipe, and examine the level of ionization on the other side?"   
Grissom smiled. "Sara" he tried to stop her.  
"That would enable me to know which direction…"  
"Sara" he said again.  
"I know it's a little far-fetched, but…"  
"It's also incorrect" he added.   
Sara turned her glare to the rain on the window and then a smile spread across her face, which indicated she had another idea. "What about radiation?"  
Professor Grissom leaned back with a skeptic look upon his face.  
"If I expose one portion of the pipe to immense amounts of radiation, then naturally…" - "Sara" – "the other side would – "Sara!"  
"Wrong too, huh?" She seemed disappointed.  
"Think about it from a forensic point of view" he suggested, and took another sip from his coffee. "And don't go looking for Zebras".  
"Looking for Zebras?" Now she totally lost him. She was going to ask what he meant, but instead just turned to the window again, and let the sound of the rain quietly clattering on the window do all the talking.  
  
***  
  
Sara and the Professor had another warm drink and talked for a little while about general stuff. Sara told him about her parents and how they were never really much into science, and to that the professor noted how the apple sometimes does fall far from the tree. It's not that her parents were dumb, she protected them, it was just that they were different. They had very strong ideas and thoughts of the world, and that affected Sara not only in the sense of standing for what she believes in, but also in the sense of pursuing her dreams and never giving up. Her parents lived the quiet life, but she wanted more for herself, and so she pushed herself for high achievement. She admitted that she sometimes felt as if the only reason she was pushing herself over the top was because she wanted to do more than her parents ever managed to do. Grissom noted that what a person does is not what determines his quality, but rather how he does it, and how content he is with what he does. When Sara asked him if he's happy with what he does, he noted that if he wasn't, he would not have been doing it. When Grissom asked Sara if she was happy studying physics, she said that she liked physics.  
"Of course you do" he said. "But do you enjoy studying it?"  
Sara seemed caught off-guard  
"What I mean is, do you see yourself developing a physics related career?"  
Sara thought about it and just shook her head. "I don't know. Depends what comes my way".  
Grissom gave her an understanding nod of the head. Sara looked out the window and noticed the rain had stopped. Grissom asked for the bill.  



	5. The Rape

**Chapter 5 – The Rape**  
  
Sunday just went on by. As always, Sara had spent the day studying. She was also planning to think about Grissom's riddle, but never got the chance, since the following day she had a test in subjects she totally wasn't prepared to be tested on. After she finished leafing through all of her notes and remembering them by heart, she just called her parents again and went off to bed. Donna was nowhere around, but she heard her come in later that night, while Sara was already slightly dozing. Sara wanted to talk to her about the break-in to the apartment, tell her that maybe they should contact the detective again, because she still felt that something was missing. Instead she just stayed put and went back to sleep. It could wait until tomorrow.  
  
***  
  
"So, for next time I want you all to read chapters 12 and 13. I'm going to prepare the lesson based on the assumption that you know what I'm talking about." And with that the teacher dismissed the class. Sara had stayed behind because she needed to finish writing down the notes that were still on the board. She always took extra time to copy the small details of the various equations, including the teacher's meaningless scribbles, because she figured that every little detail mattered.  
"Need any help?" Sara looked up and saw her teacher, a man in his early 40s, looming over her and staring at her notebook.   
"No, I got it, thanks Professor Harris," she smiled. "I just don't want to miss any important details."  
"You're very dedicated." He seemed impressed. "Anyway, Mark Anderson forgot his notebook here. Would you mind handing it over when you see him?" he handed her a blue covered notebook, a little worn.  
"Sure, I'll get it to him" she said and put it in her bag. Professor Harris just smiled at her and turned away. Sara finished her copying and went out of the classroom.  
  
The day passed, and Sara found herself daydreaming in classes again. She had very just reason, though. She was still thinking about Professor Grissom's riddle. She still couldn't figure out what he meant by "Don't go looking for Zebras", but could only assume he meant not to go too far with her ideas. Anyway, every time she felt like she was getting close, she had to either start copying stuff again, or answer some meaningless question the person next to her was asking about whatever it was that the teacher had said. She really didn't pay much attention to any of that, but it made her lose concentration when she tried to think about the riddle. She decided she'd better leave that for now.  
  
She got home late that day. There was so much she needed to do but didn't have the time for. She glimpsed at the clock and realized she'd better head down to the lecture-hall. Professor Grissom's lecture was about to start. It's going to be weird, she thought, going back to being another student in his class, after being out with him those last couple of days. She'll sit front row this time, as if not to alienate herself. But first she had to get there.  
  
***  
  
In the lecture hall Sara indeed took a place in the first row. The usual attendees were all there as well, and all greeted her as they entered. She smiled back at them, and then the Professor came in, placed his belongings on the table, and greeted them all. He then looked down at Sara, smiled a little smile at her, and started his class.  
  
"Forensic Science, as we've established in our previous meetings, is all about facts. But what do you do when your evidence takes you down more than one path? What do you do if the same set of facts can tell several different stories? Well…."  
  
***  
_  
Wow, his voice just seems to flow so smoothly. He must really enjoy giving those seminars. He did tell me yesterday that he wouldn't have done it if he didn't enjoy it.  
  
It's weird, actually. I can't just go home after this, that'll just totally suck. I've been spending most of my evenings with him in the past couple of days, there's no way I'm going back to being just another face in the crowd.  
  
Should I come up to him after the show? I mean, after the lecture. God, I really should be paying attention. It's a good thing I'm sitting in the front row, though. He always tends to leave right after he's finished the lecture, he never waits around. If I had been sitting where I usually do, I'd never have enough time to catch him afterwards.  
  
Ok, so I'll come up to him after he finishes. But what will I say?  
Maybe I should invite him to have coffee with me again!  
No, actually, that will be so lame.  
  
Maybe I could ask him about the break-in to the apartment? He is an investigator, maybe he could….   
Nah, that would even be more lame. I just might as well go for the coffee line.  
  
Then again, it's not such - _"…looking for Zebras is the unofficial term…"_ - did he just say that? Maybe I should be paying attention!  
Come on, unofficial term for what? What does it mean?  
  
_"There's an old joke in medical school, about a class of interns in an operating room. They're all standing in the O.R. with their backs to the door, when suddenly something that sounds like a horse gallops through the hallway." _  
  
A horse in an O.R.? What is he talking about?  
  
_"When asked what just passed in the hallway, all of them without exception replied that it was a Zebra."_  
  
I don't get it. Everybody's laughing though. It is sort of amusing, but what does he mean by that?  
  
_"The point is..."_ – finally – _"…that you shouldn't always go for the rarest and most bombastic solution to a problem. Most things are done with simplicity, especially when dealing with human behavior. People don't think and plan before doing the simple and little things, and these are exactly the things that will eventually give you the evidence you need to find out what really happened."_  
  
He's digressing again. I hate it when he does that.  
  
_"Anyway, my point is, again, that when you have two possible solutions based on the same set of facts, the more complex theory is not necessarily the right one. Or, to go back to our story… Don't go looking for Zebras where there's only a horse."  
_  
Did he just wink at me? Did he put that part in just for me? Did he just throw me a hint? Did I remember to check my hair before I left? I hope I did.  
  
_***  
  
The lecture ended, and Sara was going to jump quickly to the stage and get Professor Grissom before he left, maybe ask him to have another cup of coffee with her, maybe something else. She couldn't really decide what to tell him, but by the time she could figure it out she noticed he was standing on the stage above her, smiling down at her.  
"Hi." She froze.  
"Hello Sara," he said to her. "Enjoyed the lecture?"  
People were already leaving the hall, and before she knew it they were alone.   
"Yes, very much" she said, her eyes still staring upwards, her hands crossed behind her back like a shy child. She slowly approached the stage, and Grissom offered her his arms to help her up. She grabbed on to his forearms, and was amazed at how strongly he pulled her up. He didn't look like the strong muscular type. She thanked him and stood beside him.  
"So…" she said.  
"So," he repeated like an echo. "Have you been thinking about my little riddle?" He challenged her.   
"Uhm..." she was expecting him to say something else.  
"It's not THAT difficult"  
"So how about we go somewhere else to discuss it?" she offered in a tone that made it clear the offer was more about the going somewhere than the discussion.  
Grissom looked at her for a couple of seconds with a blank stare, but seemed to have decided something a split second before he said "Sure, but it's pretty cold outside, perhaps we should stay indoors."  
"Yeah, let's do that." she said as he grabbed his things and joined her on the way out of the classroom.  
  
***  
  
When Grissom and Sara got out of the science building, it was raining again. This time, it was Grissom who pulled his coat over Sara. "I think coffee's out of the option," he said to her, knowing that the coffee place they visited was on the other side of campus.  
Sara nodded. "So, where to?"  
"My guest quarters aren't that far away from here" he said. "We can go there until the rain clears."  
"Let's go." she smiled, somewhat content, and off they went.  
  
Grissom's temporary apartment was much bigger than she had expected. It was larger than her apartment, and she had to share it!  
"It's what you get for being a guest of honor, I guess," he said when he saw the amazed look in Sara's eyes. He had a small living room, a real kitchen... This place was awesome.  
"Can I get you anything to drink?" Grissom asked as he hung their coats. "There's not much here I can offer, though."  
"That's ok," Sara said and sat down on a sofa. "Whatever you have will do."  
Grissom took out two cans of root beer and sat on an arm chair in front of Sara. He poured her half a glass and then one for himself, saying nothing. Sara just sat there with her hands between her knees, looking around. She felt a little weird, sitting in his apartment. It was an awkward moment. She thanked him for the drink and after another moment of awkward silence, she decided to break the silence.  
"So, what else do you do, other than teach and investigate crimes?" she asked, knowing the question was a little vain, but a definite ice-breaker.  
"What do you mean?" Grissom asked, not sure there was anything other than that.  
"I don't know… Do you have any hobbies? Pets, maybe?"  
"I like bugs," he said with an innocent tone. Sara looked at him shocked.  
"Bugs?" she had no idea what he was talking about.  
"Mhmm." Grissom nodded.  
"Bugs as in…Bugs Bunny?" she tried her luck.  
The professor actually smiled, and she could swear she heard a stream of air coming out of his nose, that could possibly be mistaken for a silent laugh.  
"Seriously now, do you grow them? Study them?"  
"I study them, mostly. I'm an entomologist".  
'Well, I guess there are weirder habits' she thought to herself, but was still amused.  
"So, about the riddle?" Grissom asked with a cunning grin.  
"Well, about that," she seemed to jump out of her seat, but was just turning around to get something out of her coat.  
"Are those schematics?" Grissom pointed at the papers she took out of her inner pocket.  
"Well, I was thinking about it and realized I need to recreate the scenery, at least on paper"  
The Professor was skeptical. Sara on the other hand seemed very enthusiastic and laid out her drawings on the table. "Check it out," she said.   
Professor Grissom came to sit by her side in order to take a better look at her schematics. What he saw was the drawing of what seemed to be a pipe, and an arrow near each of the edges; one going right, one going left, signifying the possible directions of the water. He saw all sorts of scribbles, some signifying the water pressure, some trying to calculate equations to relate the water's pressure to the width of the pipe, and he also found an equation he didn't even understand and couldn't realize what it functioned as.   
Grissom studied her scribbles for several seconds, and having found nothing of a solution, he just stared at her. She also stared at the drawings, and as she realized there was nothing there, she looked at him, met with his questioning and somewhat skeptic stare, and with a little confusion started explaining.   
"Well, it's not finished yet, but…"   
"But you have nothing," he said.  
"Well, to put it bluntly," she sighed and leaned towards the coffee table on which the schematics lay. "I must be missing something."  
"No, not at all," he smiled, and leaned forward as well. Sara's heart stopped as he was now so close to her, she almost started shivering.  
"May I?" he asked and looked at her. Their eyes were hardly a couple of inches apart. Sara froze. What did he mean by that?  
Without a word, just a little smile, Grissom took a pencil in his hand and started erasing every single equation and scribble. Sara wanted to panic and stop him, but she was still captured by his gaze and his semi-smile. Grissom finished what he was doing and then gestured with his eyes for her to look down at the paper. Sara turned her stare and saw that the paper was mostly blank now. Only one thing was still there – the drawing of the pipe, and one arrow going right.  
"You're still thinking of zebras, Sara. Now start over, without the pencil" he put the pencil aside. "Use only your eyes and your mind. Try to think without the laws of physics, only with your mind".  
Sara stared at the drawing. She now noticed Grissom even shaded it a little to give it a three dimensional look. He was trying to make her picture the pipe in front of her. Sara just let herself sink into the drawing, and imagined how the water was flowing inside it. She could see it, inside the pipe, flowing fast and strong from left to right. She slowly started hearing it as well. She then suddenly noticed it was raining outside, and what she heard was the rain going down the window. Then she jumped as a lightning flashed somewhere in the distance, and by the time she heard the thunder, she had already realized what it was that she was looking for.  
She turned back, looked at the window, then turned back to Grissom, and met his approving smile. She got it.  
"The thunder," she said. She actually tried to speak, but all she could come up with was a low whisper. Grissom nodded.  
"It comes after the lightning because sound is slower.". Sara was thinking out loud. Grissom knew where she was going.   
"Sound is generated by moving particles," she looked back at the window and then back at the drawing. "So if I put my ear on one end of the pipe and knock on the other end, and then put my ear on the second end and knock on the first, the end in which I'll hear a stronger knock would be the one to which the waters are flowing!"   
"Knock - Knock" Grissom cracked a joke and Sara gave him a cynical smile.   
"I can't believe I fell for it," she said. "It's a tenth grade riddle!"  
"And you were looking for a physics degree solution, which is why you didn't get it at first. Life isn't always as complicated as it seems to be," Grissom said. Sara got his point, or so she thought.  
She smiled and said nothing. She looked at Grissom, who was still staring at her. She herself suddenly realized she was staring at him. She couldn't help it; his eyes were so blue, and shimmering. He didn't seem to move – as if frozen in the state of his little smile. Sara's breathing had stopped. She didn't want to move. She felt some sort of a rush in the back of her eyes, as she started leaning forward. Grissom's eyes moved down her face and then back up. She closed her eyes, but could still feel his stare, looking directly at her, feeling her. She heard no objection. She felt no backing off. With her eyes still closed, she leaned forward, tilting her head, loosening her lips with a quiver…   
  
***  
  
Sara opened her eyes and saw Grissom's were still closed. The taste of the kiss was still on her lips, and so she moved her eyes up and down his face, blushing and shivering softly. He on the other hand did not move, not even a tremble. And then with a light quiver, she grabbed the back of his head and kissed him again, pressing her lips against his.  
After a couple of seconds which felt to her like a divine forever, they backed up again, this time both opening their eyes. Her eyes were glittering, while his were suddenly filled with something she could not identify. Was it sadness, or was it disappointment? His expression changed so fast, she thought it was probably a little bit of both.  
"Sara…" Grissom started with an apologizing tone.  
Oh no.  
"Look, Sara…" he started again, and she knew what he was going to say.  
"No, Gil…" she seemed confused, but not knowing what to say she just tried to soften the blow with "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…"  
"You know I'm going away in a couple of days," he said. "We'll probably never see each other again after tomorrow night".  
"I know, I'm sorry… I…" she leaned back and then stood up. She felt as if she was babbling aimlessly.  
"Sara, if things were different…" Grissom again apologized.  
"No, it's ok," she said and turned around, facing the window.  
Grissom tilted his head while still looking at her, and she herself realized the rain had stopped some time ago, and turned back to him. "I better go."  
Grissom said nothing, just stayed back on the sofa with a pondering look. The one Sara noticed he had every time he seemed to be calculating something. His jaw would slightly shift, his tongue would press against his cheek… She broke off her stare, this time fiercely, and headed for the door. Wearing her coat she turned back, looked at him again, but said nothing.  
Grissom just looked up to her. "You're a brilliant girl, Sara," he said. Sara was annoyed that he called her a girl. She was even more annoyed that he complimented her at all. She also felt as if he had said it because he knew he'd probably never see her again. And indeed she did not intend to see him again either.  
Sara just lowered her head and turned around, leaving through the door. She closed the door and started walking in the hall towards the exit.   
She felt as if the door was beaming on her back, staring at her as she left, ashamed, embarrassed and confused.  
  
***  
  
Sara was walking in the campus at night once again. She didn't think of it at the moment, of how the same cement roads took her to different places each night, but this road she was taking now took her to a place she didn't know and couldn't see. Sara wasn't sure how she should feel. Although she'd known Grissom for only less than a week, the last couple of days and especially nights were so amazing, like part of a dream…. And now she had woken up.  
  
She started walking back to her dorm room.  
  
What was she thinking? Kissing him like that. What was she expecting? And besides, what's all that about 'never seeing each other again'? So what? She didn't ask him for a lifetime of commitment, she just wanted one night with him – to love him.  
  
Then again, did she? Did she want a 'one night stand' with him? Did she really want **that**? Was she willing to go that far with a man she hardly even knew?  
She wasn't like that; she didn't want to feel like that. What she felt wasn't lust – it was something far more powerful and intense… Could she be falling in love?  
  
She didn't know. Now she also didn't want to know.   
She didn't care. She just wanted to go home.  
  
***   
  
Sara got to her quarters and closed the doors behind her. She leaned back on it and banged the back of her head against the wood. 'Stupid – stupid – stupid' she kept hissing and walked on to her bed.   
She noticed that Donna wasn't in.  
She fell onto her bed and stared at the ceiling.  
…  
…  
…  
…  
Agh!  
She couldn't just sit there.  
She had to do something!  
She was tired of being the little girl that falls in love and gets the 'friends' routine.   
She was tired of being alienated from everywhere and everyone.  
She was tired of being herself.  
  
Sara sat up and stared down at the floor. Some of Donna's stuff was thrown around in the usual mess. Donna didn't seem to have these problems, she thought. Maybe she should borrow more of her clothes. She should start dressing more like her, acting more like her…   
  
With that thought, or perhaps without any thought at all, Sara bent down and started going through Donna's stuff until she found a pack of cigarettes.  
Sara hated cigarettes.  
She picked up the pack and walked up to the window. She opened it and sat back on the railing, just as Donna did every time she wanted a smoke.   
'This isn't like me' she thought to herself. Then again, that was the point.  
She took out a cigarette and held it between her fingers. It almost fell as she realized she didn't know how to hold it. She played with it a little until it felt comfortable between her fingers and then went for a lighter.   
She hated smoking. She hated the smell, she hated the taste, and she hated everything there was to hate about cigarettes. But she didn't care now – she just wanted to forget all about it – to be somebody else for a change.  
She inhaled and expected to choke. She didn't – it wasn't as bad as she had thought. She leaned back and closed her eyes. The chilled air and the slight wind made her cuddle up to the corner and lay her head down on her knees. From where she was sitting she could see the entire park. It was empty as usual; she wanted to go down there and stroll the dark grass as she used to. She didn't. Instead she just turned around and sat down on the edge, with her feet hanging in the air. She leaned back a little and grabbed the edge of the window for safety. They were on the third floor and she didn't want to fall down.   
She saw somebody walking down the park, though it was farther away. A woman, perhaps? Yes, a woman. A moment later she recognized it was Donna, who seemed to be walking around quite carefree. Even at this distance, she seemed happy for some reason – maybe it was her body language.   
Donna didn't even notice her at first, and as she did Sara was just about to wave to her, as suddenly something caught her eye.  
  
***  
  
Donna was strolling down the park, heading back to her dorm room. She was coming back from Bobby's place after a romantic evening. It was their anniversary, and they celebrated with a quiet and romantic meal at his place. She was very happy about her relationship with Bobby, and the only reason she didn't stay over was because his roommates came back sooner than they had expected, so they had to call it a night.  
She strolled down the road, looking down at the grass or up at the few stars that appeared between the clouds. It was then that she looked at the big apartment building in front of her and noticed somebody sitting on the window. As she got just a little closer she realized it that was Sara's and her apartment, and it was Sara who was sitting perilously close to the edge of the window. Was she also holding a cigarette?  
She stopped and looked at her from the distance. She raised her hand to signal 'hi' to Sara, and Sara raised her hand to wave back but suddenly froze. What was going on? Before she knew it, Donna was thrown forcefully aside, and fell on her back in a trench beside the road, and beneath the trees.  
  
***  
  
Sara suddenly saw a figure running out of the dark, grabbing Donna and pulling her to the side of the road. "Donna!" she screamed, but no air was in her lungs. She coughed to regain her breath, as she suddenly realized she could still see them. She froze.  
Donna was struggling on the ground to push the attacker off her, but with no use. Sara wanted to jump down and run to help her, but as she looked down she realized once again that they were on the third floor.   
Donna was pinned down. The figure, all dressed in black, leaned down on her and pushed her down to the ground. Sara slowly started realizing what was going on. She wanted to scream again, but realized she couldn't. She wanted to run and help her, but she couldn't move. She was frozen in place.  
She turned her head aside for a moment, but then looked back slowly. The dark figure's movement over Donna was as clear as it was intense. There was no doubt what he was doing.  
As far as it was from where she was sitting, Sara could see Donna's face. She had never seen such terror on anybody's expression. Donna had long since stopped struggling, and was now just lying on her back, crying and agonizing, as the attacker kept pinning her down and forcefully invading her.  
Sara's eyes filled with tears as she realized she couldn't move, nor could she move her eyes away. Seeing the expression on Donna's face she suddenly felt violated herself. She crumbled back slowly to the corner - she felt as if she were down there herself, being beaten down and repeatedly violated. She was powerless.  
Still without moving or turning her gaze, she started crying.   
The cigarette fell from her hand and flew down in the air until it hit the ground and went off. Some sparks flew out, and then there was only some little smoke… and then nothing.   
Too many minutes had passed, and Donna was at this point lying unconscious. Sara was sitting paralyzed with fear in the corner of her window. The cigarette was lying dirty and cold at the bottom of the wall. As for the assailant - he was already long gone, hiding away in the shadows - finding perfect refuge in the night.  



	6. Aftermath

**Chapter 6 – Aftermath**  
  
Sara leaned above Donna's now motionless body and called for her. Donna didn't respond, so Sara tried to see if she was breathing and when she found out that she did, she called her name again, and tried to carefully shake her awake.   
Donna still didn't respond.   
Sara put her arm under Donna's shoulders and tried to make her sit up, but Donna just fell back. She then tried to lift Donna up and carry her by the waist, but Donna was twice her size, and so Sara just kept falling and tumbling.   
Gaining up whatever strength she still had, however, Sara eventually managed to get Donna back to their quarters. She put Donna down to sleep at (on the) bed, and sat down on her own bed to rest. She looked at Donna's bruised and defeated body and didn't know how to feel. She didn't think of anything yet. Her mind was blank, but her heart was storming.  
After another minute or so she got up and ran out of the apartment.  
  
***  
  
It was already late at night, but Gil Grissom was far from asleep. Instead, he was lounging on the sofa in his room, reading a book. Normally he'd also listen to music, but this place didn't have a descent stereo, and even if it did, he didn't bring anything with him. But it was silent enough for him not to care.   
It was a pretty eventful evening. He was a bit regretful he had to finish his relationship with Sara the way he did, but he figured it was for the best. He really didn't need to get attached to someone he'd probably never see again. He didn't even know if he could get attached to anyone.   
Sara interested him. She made him feel good about himself for the first time in a long time. She was interested in him, and that made him feel accepted and… well, it made him feel younger. The fact that here somebody came along and showed interest in him and his way of life, it helped him feel better about himself, about what he did with his life. But what made Sara special was that she was intelligent enough to actually understand his way of thinking and not only his teachings.   
But it wouldn't have worked, he told himself. She could never really tap into his wavelength. Or could she?  
He wasn't sure anymore. He suddenly felt sorry for how he probably made her feel. He also felt sorry that things had to end the way they did.  
The last thing he expected, however, was somebody knocking on his door so late at night.  
He got out of bed and approached the door, suspicious but curious. He looked through the peephole and opened the door, as happy as he was surprised.  
"Sara? What are you…" he started to ask, when the girl just jumped into his arms and hugged him tightly.   
Grissom didn't know how to take it, but after a moment just hugged her back lightly. Grissom sighed, knowing that once again he's going to have to put her off, even though he'd probably regret it later.  
"Listen, Sara, I really think you should go" he said and stood back.  
"Sara…" he started but as he looked at her face he suddenly noticed that she was crying.   
"Sara?" He put his hands on her shoulders and tried to look her in the eye, but she was looking down at the floor, somewhat humiliated.  
"Sara!" He gave her a little jolt and she raised her gaze directly at him. Grissom saw the glaze in her eyes and once again looked her directly in the eye(.) ( and asked) "Sara, what happened?"  
Sara didn't reply but just sobbed and turned her face away. Grissom petted her cheek but as soon as their eyes met again his face turned serious.  
"Sara, What happened?!"  
  
***  
  
"We've blocked all access to the parkway where Ms. Sidle told us the assault took place" Inspector Bane told Professor Grissom as they were standing outside of Sara and Donna's apartment.   
"Good" Grissom nodded.  
"I just hope we aren't too late"  
"A girl was raped, Inspector" Grissom wore a correcting face. "No matter how many evidence we find, we'll still be too late."  
Bane nodded with acceptance and sighed. At that moment Sara came out of the apartment and stared at them, trying to catch up on their conversation. Bane paid her no attention and just turned to Grissom with a suddenly official tone and said "Professor Grissom, your reputation goes before you. I would like to ask you to assist us in our investigation".   
Grissom and Sara exchanged quick stares. They both knew what this meant. If Grissom agreed to help the investigation, he couldn't tell Sara anything about it, and furthermore, since Sara was a witness, he would have to stop his personal interaction with her. Sara looked at him with a worried look, as if expecting him to deny the offer, to say something about personal involvement, but in his eyes she saw a sudden sadness, and determination, as he turned back to the Inspector and agreed to assist them in any way he could.  
Bane almost smiled. "We'll take care of the paperwork later." He thanked Grissom and entered the apartment. Grissom stayed behind with Sara, who gave him a sad disappointed look. He wanted to tell her he was sorry, but as he opened his mouth to speak she turned away and disappeared into the dark corridor. Grissom sighed and entered the apartment right after Bane.  
  
***  
Later that night Sara was sitting alone in bed. From outside she could hear the officers around the parkway, what was a familiar piece of road and now became a staring eye of evil and madness. Calling it a 'Crime Scene' seemed like an injustice to her.   
She was afraid to look out the window. She was even afraid to look at it. She didn't want any reminders to what had happened, to what she had done, or not done for that matter.  
She sat in her bed, her knees up to her chin, and stared at an unspecific point on the wall.   
She heard a voice from outside and her head snapped towards the window, but it was just another one of those policemen down in the parkway. She stared at the ledge where she was sitting just a couple of hours earlier, and realized she was sitting in the exact same position.  
It took her a couple of seconds to come to her senses, or rather the exact opposite, and jump out of bed and out the door.  
  
For the third time this night she knocked on Gil Grissom's door. She waited for a couple of seconds and knocked again. She was shaking. She was cold. She was impatient to see him – she needed comfort. She didn't even think if he was the one to give it to her or not – she just went there.  
She knocked again.  
Nothing.  
He wasn't home, and she realized he was probably out investigating or something. She wanted to go down to the parkway and look for him there, but couldn't dare to approach it. She instead just caught and inquired one of the police officers who happened to pass by on his way to the scene, and he told her that as far as he know both Professor Grissom and Inspector Bane were down at the station. Sara thanked him and sighed.   
"Are you the victim's room mate?" the officer asked her suddenly.  
Sara nodded.  
"Maybe you should go get some sleep" he told her. "You've had a rough night".  
"Maybe I should"  
"Take a shower, and go to sleep" he said to her in a firm tone. "Police orders".  
"I will" she said and gave him half a smile. "Thank you".  
He was right, she thought to herself. She had better get some sleep.  
The policeman continued down to the crime scene, where he was approached by Professor Grissom who was now wearing a police jacket and a cap.   
"Did you find her?" he inquired the young officer.  
"I did," he replied. "I think I got to her".  
"Thank you." Grissom nodded at the officer.  
"I just hope she'll listen." The officer added.  
"So do I." Grissom said and joined the investigative team on the scene.  
  
***  
  
Sara got back to her apartment and without any thought just went into the shower. She waited for the water to warm up, took off her clothes and stepped inside. She let the water cascade off her hair, her shoulders… She didn't think of anything in particular other than cleaning herself up. She poured some soap onto her hands and started rubbing her skin. She washed her arms and legs, and the more she rubbed her skin with soap and water the dirtier she felt. She just rubbed and scratched until her hands hurt, but it just wouldn't come off. In her mind she was trying to wash off the dirt, and in her eyes she saw a mystery man trying to stain her more and burry her in the ground. The ground was dirty and cold, and the more she tried to wash if off, the more she felt the mystery man was gaining on her, pushing her down to the dirt.   
She suddenly came to her senses and realized she was panicking. She breathed in, trying to relax, washed herself and started over. She poured some more soap into her palm, and started rubbing her arms again, this time far more relaxed. She rubbed her arms, and then her legs. She started soaping her waist, her shoulders, her back… She then slowly moved her hands downwards and rubbed her chest, going down to her stomach with one hand, her thighs with the other… She slowly lost control over her hands, and her thoughts too were evading her will. She suddenly felt controlled by a passion she couldn't explain, and slowly she let herself sink into the intoxicating sensation she made herself feel, only that in her mind she suddenly again saw the mystery man. She couldn't see his face, but in her mind she knew he was grinning at her, as if indulging in a victory of the mind. What she was doing now in the shower was his own will – his own doing. She woke up from her fantasy again and just laid back against the wall, letting the water flow down on her body and into the drain.   
What was wrong with her?  
She'd been wondering around all night as if she was raped herself!  
She mentally slapped herself and reminded herself that she was not the one down there on the grass! She was not raped!   
Furthermore, she told herself, she had no right to feel violated as she did. How could she be so selfish?  
She reminded herself that Donna, her best friend, was the one who was brutally attacked and violated tonight. She was the one who was raped.   
However, with that in mind, she wondered how was it that she still felt so victimized. So terrorized. So paralyzed. It was somehow as if because she couldn't move and couldn't help Donna, but had to watch the entire thing… she was raped herself. Not physically, but mentally. She was raped by fear, and for the first time in her life she felt weak.  
And she hated herself for it.


	7. So Close No Matter How Far

**Chapter 7 – So Close No Matter How Far**   
"Sara Sidle, 21 years old." Inspector Bane filled the other investigators up on the details. "She's the victim's room-mate, claims to have seen everything through the window."  
Sara came to the police station first thing in the morning to give her statement.  
"Professor Grissom and I will interview her," he then added. "You go back to campus to interview whatever other eyewitnesses there might have been."  
The two investigators nodded and headed out. Grissom and Bane entered Bane's office, where Sara was sitting, drinking a cup of coffee they had brought her earlier.  
"Miss Sidle." Bane greeted her and sat in front of her. Grissom sat next to him, not saying a word. Sara stared at Grissom, expecting him to say or do something, but when she saw his carefully held blank face she turned back to Bane.  
"Feeling any better?" Bane smiled at her, trying to make her feel more comfortable. It didn't really work, and she just gave him an angry look. Bane realized that she wouldn't be softened by his charm and so he cut right to the chase.  
"Miss Sidle, I'm going to have to ask you a few questions." Sara didn't respond, but instead just tried Grissom's look again. He wore the same look Bane did; he was expecting her reply to the latter's request. She expected him to say something, as if to protect her from the questions she didn't want to answer. She didn't want to go back to last night's events, and she hoped Grissom would say something to let her off the hook.  
He didn't. And furthermore, he seemed quite indifferent. Sara now looked at Bane again, turning her eyes away from Grissom violently, crossing her arms below her chest. Grissom sighed. If only she had known what turmoil was really going on beneath.  
"What do you want to know?" she asked, obviously angry.  
"Everything." Bane said dramatically. Sara suddenly lost her angry face to a shocked expression of acceptance. Bane kept his caring face straight, and Sara started to like him him a lot more than she did Grissom at that point, as the latter was sitting there next to Bane, looking like a typist awaiting a dictation.  
From this point on, Sara ignored him. She didn't even look at him.  
"Well… I know Donna was out when I came back home."  
"Where were you coming back from?" Bane asked.  
Sara froze. Should she tell him she was at Grissom's? Better not.  
"I don't remember." she replied and Bane nodded. "Anyway, Donna was out, I think she was coming back from Bobby's, her boyfriend."  
"Where can we find this Bobby?" he asked her. Sara replied that she she didn't exactly knew where he lived, but that they could probably get a hold of him somewhere around the college.  
Bane asked her some more general details about herself, about Donna, about her relationship with her, and about Donna's relationship with Bobby. She noticed he was avoiding the event itself, and she was subconsciously grateful, but just as the thought had crossed her mind, it was Grissom who suddenly spoke, asking: "Tell us about the rape."  
Sara gazed at him. He shut up through the entire conversation, and the first thing he had to ask was the last thing she wanted to answer.  
Sara told Bane everything. Starting with how she sat on the edge of the window, although in her version it was to catch some fresh air, and going through how she spotted Donna.  
"Then it was like…" she froze. She saw the images of Donna being thrown aside to the ground again. Her head turned a little, and catching her breath she continued. "And then he jumped at her and pinned her to the ground."  
Bane sighed silently and wrote it down.  
"He moved at such speed I couldn't see anything distinctive about him." she said. "He was much bigger than her, though. They flew a couple of feet before they hit the ground."  
"So he was grasping her as he attacked her?" Grissom asked.  
"Yes" she looked at him and replied. "He used his leverage to trip her and fall right on top of her."  
Grissom and Sara exchanged another look before Bane went on. Sara's eyes were starting to glitter.  
"Please," Bane said. "Continue."  
"At first I wasn't sure what was going on" she said, and her voice trembled. "I thought perhaps it was a crank, or at worst a robbery." Sara paused.  
Neither men said anything, but just stared at her, expecting her to go on.  
"But when he pushed her down to the ground and…" she paused again "…and ripped away her clothes, and started to..."  
Bane lowered his eyes to the page and wrote down what she said, trying not to cross his eyes with hers. Bane was a professional, and had handled many rape cases before, however he still found it hard to confront the victims, having a daughter of his own. And although Sara wasn't a victim, he knew, she still suffered a great deal.  
"And what did you do then?" Grissom asked, not at all looking even a little disturbed. Sara hated him for asking it, for it forced her to admit once again that she did nothing to help her friend.  
He actually asked it to take focus off the rape itself, to help her calm down a little. He didn't know he was asking all the wrong questions. He didn't even stop to think about it.  
"I…" she started saying something when somebody opened the door.  
"Inspector Bane, you have a phone call on line one"  
"Tell them I'm busy"  
"It's your wife, she says it's urgent"  
Bane sighed and apologized to Sara. She nodded and he stood up and went out of the room.  
Sara was left alone with Grissom, and she wasn't really sure what to tell him.  
Grissom seemed as if he was about to say something, but sat still.  
"Sara" he finally said, "I realize you're angry…"  
"Angry? I'm not angry" she said. "I just don't understand how you can treat me this way after all we've… after…"  
"Sara, as long as I'm working on this case, I can't get involved with you."  
"Oh, so that's your excuse now" she crossed her arms again. "You know, that's just heartless!"  
Grissom again responded in silence.  
"Besides, it's too late not to get involved - we already have! You know you could have turned down the case!"  
"It's my responsibility to catch whoever did this" he reasoned.  
"So CSI Grissom comes before Gil Grissom?" she asked in anger. "You're not even a CSI in this jurisdiction, I don't understand - why did you have to take the case?"  
"It's what I do" he replied, not really sure what she was accusing him of. "It's my responsibility."  
"Is it also your 'responsibility' to interrogate me?" She swallowed her tears.  
"Sara, nobody can know we're involved" he said. "I can't show you any personal courtesy."  
"I've witnessed my friend being raped" she cried. "How about showing me some courtesy as a human being?"  
Grissom froze.  
"Some things come before your 'duty' and 'responsibility', Gil. Your heart, for example" she suggestively pleaded him to admit that he felt something for her. He didn't respond.  
"Or do you even have one?" she left the room.  
He sighed.

Several days had passed.  
Sara lost all track of time, but it was probably three or four days afterwards that she accidentally walked into Grissom in one of the streets on the campus. In the three or four preceding days Sara must have knocked on his door two or three times, searching for reconciliation, or cheap undeserved comfort, but there was no reply. Grissom's lectures were prematurely ceased for an undetermined period of time, and he himself had disappeared.  
Sara wasn't sure she wanted to see him, but on the lonely nights that followed Donna's release to her parents' house, she just felt that her need to see him - or anyone else for that matter - was stronger than the anger she felt towards him. She was drawn to him - even though she felt rejected.  
The only time she did see him was this one time she was staring out of the window, after she had regained the courage to do so again, and saw him standing in the middle of the grassy field surrounded by nothing but yellow ribbons - one man against the scene. He looked lost to her, he seemed lost to her; a single standing pillar in the middle of an ocean, like a man trapped in a cage, just standing there, turning around in a stationary place, barricaded by police lines. The One against The World.  
He turned around and caught her in his sight, sitting on the window. He stared at her, and froze. They were too far away to say anything, no matter how close they actually were. Sara just turned away and went back inside, shutting the window behind her. Grissom turned back and stared at the grassy field, trying to think. He really was lost, but little did Sara know why.  
Sara hadn't seen him after that until now, several days later, when she found him carrying bags and suitcases out of campus.  
"So," she said. "I guess this is it..."  
"I'm sorry if I hurt you, Sara" he said, and wanted to add 'You've been hurt badly as it is', but didn't.  
Sara didn't respond but just eyed his bags and realized he was fully-packed and ready to go and disappear from her life just like that.  
"So this is it? You're just leaving, then?"  
"I'm leaving Campus - yes. The Illinois Police Department lodged me in a hotel out of campus and closer to the P.D."  
So he wasn't leaving town just yet.  
"Are there any developments"? She asked him.  
"I'm afraid I can't discuss it just yet" he said formally. Sara felt as if she had once again lost him in the battle.  
What Grissom didn't tell her was that there actually had been no developments whatsoever. They were clueless as to who it might have been. Donna's testimony wasn't enough to construct a profile, and there were not enough evidential leads to come up with anything conclusive.  
They interviewed Donna's boyfriend, Bobby Correly, but naturally he had no motive whatsoever, and had no clue as towho it could have been. He himself seemed a little shook up about the entire thing.  
Grissom has studied the crime scene thoroughly and repeatedly, but found only single-standing pieces of unrelated evidence and with questionable relevance. The closest thing they found to actual 'evidence' were extremely obscure foot prints, and a freshly used cigarette butt, which they couldn't do anything with, and was probably completely unrelated to the scene.  
Grissom hated to admit it - but they were lost. He knew that unless they found a new lead to follow, and quickly, they would have to declare it a cold case.

Sara went back to her room at the end of the day, frustrated. That was it, she thought. It was nice while it lasted. She replayed in her mind the very few but completely amazing moments they've had - starting how she accidentally found herself in his lecture, and how she was captivated by him and came back night after night. She remembered how she came up to him after one of the lectures like an excited school girl and how she met him again just by pure chance in the middle of the night on the bridge. She recalled how they had talked about this and that, and how fascinated she was with him. Where did all of that go?  
Sara sighed and sat on her bed. The place was a mess. There were clothes and notebooks all over the floor, stuff she'd taken out of her backpack whenever she went for a class and needed to free some room for other notebooks. She **seriously** had to consider cleaning the place up.  
She started picking stuff up and organize it by class subject, and then she suddenly found something she didn't expect: since when did her notebooks have football covers?  
She opened the notebook and realized it wasn't hers. She tried to remember where it came from, and then it suddenly hit her that she forgot to give Mark Anderson the notebook he forgot in class, and that this was it. She was going to put it aside but then suddenly something that seemed like a photograph fell from between the pages, and her first instinct was to just put it back inside, but something caught her eye. She hesitantly picked it up and looked at it, and it took her a couple of seconds to realize that what she was looking at was actually a photograph of Donna - nude - taking a shower. What the hell was this?  
She examined it for a couple of seconds, her heart pounding with shock as she realized it was their own shower! Their own bathroom! The picture fell from her hand and she stood up in shock, looking down at it as it fell on top of several more pictures. The thought crossed her mind to check and see if there were pictures of her in there as well, but she just turned around and ran into the shower. She examined the room for a minute, and realized that according to the angle of the shoot the camera had to be hidden… behind - or inside - the drug cabinet?  
She tried to think what else there was about it, and recalled that after the break-in to their apartment, the only thing out of order was….  
She opened the drug cabinet and saw that indeed the mirror was one-sided, and that you could pretty much see clearly through it from the inside. She moved some stuff around and noticed something she somehow hadn't seen before - there was a small hole drilled in the back of the cabinet. She tried to look inside, but saw nothing.  
She couldn't believe this was happening to her.  
Just as she was going to pick up the phone and call the detective that investigated the break-in, it hit her that this voyeurism incident and Donna's rape could not possibly be unrelated.  
She hesitated for a second and then picked up the phone again. "Yes, hello. Can you please connect me with Inspector Bane or Doctor Grissom? Yes - It's Sara Sidle, tell them I have important evidence to submit regarding the rape of Donna McCrea."


	8. The New Evidence

**Chapter 8 – The New Evidence**

It wasn't long before Inspector Bane and Doctor Grissom showed up in a squad car. The campus residents were by now already familiar with the sight of police officers prowling around, and didn't even pay attention to them. But as they approached Donna's and Sara's apartment, Grissom and Bane exchanged looks and realized that they both noticed it - they were being followed. It was actually pretty obvious, as the man following them was both elderly and dressed in a very non-tacky business suit. And in the middle of _**campus**_, nonetheless, which made him stick out like a sore thumb in this kingdom of what Bane referred to as 'pothead-wear.  
Grissom and Bane exchanged looks once again, and both stopped in place. They glanced back and saw that the man has also stopped in place, but did not attempt to hide. Bane turned and started walking towards him, and Grissom slowly followed, tilting his face as if expecting to see what will happen next. He almost expected the man to turn around and run away, but he didn't. Instead, the man just stood still and watched as Bane approached him. The man seemed a little frightened but still kept a straight face.  
"Inspector Bruce Bane, Illinois PD." Bane showed his ID to the man. The latter leaned back against the wall, and looked pretty nervous.  
"You can't just keep coming in here," he told them. Bane also noticed he was sweating.  
"Who are you?" Bane asked firmly. "Why are you following us"  
"Don't be so dramatic, I'm not 'following' you," the man said again. "I noticed your squad car and decided to come along and make sure you don't make any more trouble"  
"You didn't answer my question." Bane got angry.  
"Jonathan Crais, the dorm caretaker," the man introduced himself.  
"Good." The inspector backed up a little. "Now, what do you want with us? What did you mean earlier by 'make any more trouble"  
"Every time you go in here you leave some kind of mess," he said. "I came to see what you were up to this time"  
Bane couldn't believe the nerve on that man. He exchanged looks with Grissom once again, who was standing aside, shrugging.  
"Listen, Mr. Crais, this is official police business. You'd be better just to stay out of our way"  
Crais nodded at Bane and the latter turned back to Grissom and started walking.  
"It's worth checking out this fellow," Grissom said to Bane.  
"Indeed," Bane agreed. "But let's keep our priorities ordered and see what new evidence Ms. Sidle has." Grissom nodded. "It's better to walk with your nose ahead and your ass behind"  
"Huh." Grissom raised an eyebrow, and tried hard to get that imagery out of his mind.

"Grissom!" Sara exclaimed with delight as she saw him at her door, even though he was standing behind Bane. "Inspector," she added, and nodded at him as well.  
"Please, come in." She closed the door behind them and ran around to her bedside to pick up the pictures. "So, what have you found"  
"You know we had a break in to our apartment sometime last week," she started without delay, and with what seemed to Grissom as over-enthusiasm. Perhaps it was her way of coping, he thought.  
Seeing that they didn't respond, Sara continued,"Well I found these photos just now, in a notebook belonging to a classmate"  
Sara handed Bane the photos, and he examined them briefly and then turned them over to Grissom.  
"And you believe they may be related to either the break-in or the rape?" Bane asked.  
"They have to be," she concluded. "I mean, there's too much similarity"  
"How is that?" Grissom asked, after flipping through some of the pictures and handing them back to Bane.  
"Donna was raped and these pictures might show that someone was already stalking her," she said. "I mean, if somebody was taking nude pictures of her, the next step is sexual assault, isn't it"  
"Rape is not about sex," Grissom replied. "However, it is about violence and domination. Those pictures prove that whoever took them wanted to dominate Donna – it made him feel godlike, to be able to watch her at any state, without giving her any chance to resist"  
"In reality, he's just a sick perverted coward," Bane remarked. And while Grissom didn't like tagging people, he actually agreed.  
"You have to take Mark in," Sara proclaimed. "I found the pictures in his notebook"  
"Everything in good time, Miss," Bane said. "First, we're going to have to take those pictures for evidence."  
"And take another look at your shower room," Grissom added. "I'll go get my kit."

Grissom entered the shower room with his kit and started looking around. Comparing the picture to the room, he managed to find the correct angle and thus found that the camera was probably inside the drug cabinet. He opened up the cabinet and examined the one-sided mirror. He also examined the drilled hole and took some pictures. Next would be disassembling the cabinet and trying to find the source. He hoped there was still some trace of the source, but he was doubtful. As for now, he had to find the right sized screw-driver.

In the meantime, Bane continued to interview Sara. She told him a little about Mark Anderson and how he always teased Donna, and that he and Bobby got into a fight. She also stated that Mark's major was electronics, so he probably had the means to pull this off. Just as Bane was about to ask her what made her so sure it was Mark that did it, Grissom exited the shower room.  
"I have nothing," he said. "The camera has been removed some time ago"  
"Any fingerprints?" Bane inquired.  
"None whatsoever," Grissom replied. "But apparently whoever put the camera there used the building's telephone network to transmit the feed and take the pictures. Pretty high-tech and expensive equipment for a college student"  
Sara didn't quite know how to respond. "Mark's parents are loaded," she said.  
"It's still too early to assume anything, Miss Sidle," Bane said again, seeing how she was locked on this Anderson kid.  
"It's also very dangerous," Grissom added, "until you have all the facts"  
"But it's obvious that…" Sara started saying, but Bane interrupted her.  
"Thank you, Miss Sidle, I'm sure this will help"  
"We will let you know once we know more," Grissom added.  
Bane exited, and Grissom was about to leave after him when Sara grabbed him by the arm, a very unexpected move for her. Grissom paused with surprise.  
"I know it's him," she said. "It has to be"  
"Sara, remember the second part of my class," Grissom said. "Never assume to have the entire picture before uncovering every single piece of the puzzle"  
"This is not some game, Grissom!" she said, almost angrily.  
"Exactly," he replied and walked out.  
"Grissom," Sara called out to him. He turned around to her, and anyone who would've looked into those eyes would've known what they said - anyone except for him. She longed for him to stay. She didn't want him to leave again – not knowing how long it's going to be before she sees him again – if at all.

Seeing that she had nothing to say, rather than understanding that she just couldn't say it out loud in words – Grissom just held on to his kit. "Goodbye Sara." He turned around.  
She went back inside and closed the door.

On the way back to the car, Bane asked Grissom if he thought that Mark Anderson kid had anything to do with it.  
"The evidence are incriminating," Grissom replied, "which is exactly what worries me"  
"You're a tough nut, Grissom," Bane replied, a little bemused. "But that's what makes you one hell of an investigator"  
Grissom smiled with gratitude.  
"I think we have enough to bring Anderson in for questioning." Bane started the car. "Let's go find him"  
"Yes, and also that dorm housekeeper," Grissom added. "He gives me the creeps."

Inspector Bane took Mark Anderson into the interrogation room and sat him down in front of him. Grissom took booth behind the mirror.  
"Mark, have you ever been to Sara Sidle's and Donna McCrea's dorm room"  
"Sidle and McCrea? No, why would I"  
"Have you ever been intimate with one of them"  
"Hell no!" Mark leaned back, pretty pleased with himself. "Donna's a snob, and that Sidle chick? She's a nerd, yo"  
Grissom himself was almost offended.  
While Bane was interrogating Anderson, Grissom suddenly heard a knock on the booth's door. An officer came in saying he has a visitor, someone named Sidle, and before Grissom could reply she walked in.  
"Sara, you shouldn't be here," He said.  
"Grissom, I…" she started but then saw Mark on the other side of the one-sided mirror. "Is that Mark Anderson"  
"Sara, you really shouldn't be in here," he said, but she ignored him and turned to watch.

_"Is this your notebook?" Bane asked on the other side, presenting Mark with the notebook Sara was told to give him.  
"Yeah man, where'd you get it?" Mark examined it.  
"I'm asking the questions here, Mr. Anderson." Mark leaned back, now worried.  
"Have you ever seen these pictures before?" he presented him with the pictures of Donna.  
"Hell no," Mark seemed pleased. "But I sure would give anything to…"_

"He's lying!" Sara said. "He's lying, it had to be him"  
"Sara!" Grissom tried to calm her down.

_"Are you sure?" Bane asked again. "They were found in your notebook"  
"I can take a closer look if you want…" Mark said and examined the pictures again. Sara was disgusted and so was Bane who at this point took the pictures away from him._

"The sun of a bitch is lying!" she stormed out and into the interrogation room.  
"You lying bastard!" she screamed at him. Grissom ran in after her, trying to hold her back, and both Bane and Mark seemed surprised to see her there. Mark stood up and took a step back while Inspector Bane tried to calm her down, giving Grissom an angry look.  
"You took those pictures!" she screamed at him. "You broke into our apartment, installed the camera, and took those pictures yourself so you could jack off to them later"  
"Miss Sidle, please!" Bane tried to get her out of the room as gently as he could.  
"Sara!" Grissom was still behind her.  
"Yes, you perverted asshole! You know you did it! And then when it wasn't enough, you stalked her and raped her! You asshole"  
"Raped her?" Mark now seemed completely shocked. "What the hell are you talking about"  
"You heard me!" she screamed and when she saw that he didn't reply and that Bane was more concentrated on getting her out then listening to her, she turned to Grissom, this time almost pleading. "Gil, Gil! You have to believe me, I know it's him! I just know it"  
"Sara, please, enough"  
"No! It's not enough! Don't you get it!" she screamed and turned back to Mark, pointing her finger at him like the grim reaper. "He raped Donna"  
"Miss Sidle, let's go outside, please ," Bane said.  
Sara didn't say anything but just looked back and forth between Grissom and Bane, her final gaze landing on Grissom who gave her half a smile, almost enchanting, and sent his hand forward.  
"Please, Miss Sidle," Bane said. "Go with Grissom"  
Sara lowered her pointing hand, as if lowering a weapon, and started walking towards Grissom. Grissom, who already had his hand sent forward to her, gently placed it behind her shoulder and directed her gently outside.  
"You can't let him get away with it," she said, quite upset.  
"We only just began investigating, Sara," he replied and directed her to the break room. "Besides, we don't know for sure that the break-in and the pictures have anything to do with Donna's rape"  
Sara didn't seem satisfied.  
"But I assure you, if he does have anything to do with it, we'll find it and he'll be dealt with"  
Sara took a deep breath.  
"I just…. I don't…" She wasn't sure what she wanted to say. "I want answers, Gil!" Her eyes were teary. She wanted him to hold her.  
"I know, we all do," Grissom said. "But for now, all I can offer you is some coffee"  
Sara stared at him. She could settle for that.

"Gil, can I see you for a second?" Inspector Bane came into the break-room.  
"Sure," Grissom said and after giving Sara a little reassuring look he stood up and walked outside to stand next to Bane. Bane looked at Sara through the doorstep and she almost looked like a hurt little child, being nursed back to life though the little plastic cup of coffee she was holding.  
"We have to let him go," Bane said. "In reality, we have nothing. The pictures are circumstantial at best, we have no fingerprints, no way to connect the pictures back to him. Not yet, at least"  
"We should check the pictures, usually when they get developed there's an ID print on the back that could help us trace back the source"  
"It's not likely that those pictures were developed commercially," Bane replied. "It was probably done personally so what we really should be looking into is Mark's apartment and see if we can find some sort of dark room, or any other image developing equipment"  
"There's an image studio in the university's art-class, maybe we should ask around there as well"  
"Agreed," Bane said. "In the meantime, try to keep her away from here. I'm not sure what you two have going on, but she shouldn't be here. Especially not now"  
"I know," Grissom said. "I'll do my best"  
There was a short silence before Bane asked, "Are you going to tell her"  
"Tell her?" Grissom was caught off guard.  
"About Mark's release"  
"Eventually," Grissom said. "For now I think she's better off at home, away from all this"  
"Good call," Bane said. "I'll see you later, let you know what we find."

Grissom stood there for a second and walked back into the break-room.  
"Come on," he said. "I'll take you home."


	9. Letting Go

**Chapter 9 – Letting Go  
**Grissom walked Sara to his rental car. She opened the door and sat silently in the passenger seat and as they were starting off she gave one final glimpse at the police station and saw Mark Anderson walking out, alone.  
She looked back at Grissom who was already looking at her.  
"We don't have anything, Sara" he apologized. "We can't keep him."  
Sara looked down in embarrassment. "I'm tired," she said, "Take me home."  
Grissom tried to steal another look but she was staring down at her feet, ashamed.  
He started the car and the drove off.

---

In the meantime, Bane appeared back at the Campus. He entered the office of the dorm caretaker, Jonathan Crais.  
"You again?" Crais looked at the detective and almost expected to find Grissom behind him. "Where's your pet investigator?"  
"Mr. Crais, I should probably inform you that you're a suspect on the charges of assault, breaking an entry, and rape."  
"What!" He screamed. "You seriously think I had anything to do with this?"  
"Sir, where were you on the night of the break-in to Sidle's and McCrea's apartment?"  
"I was in my own bloody room!"  
"You live here on Campus?" the detective started writing down details in his little notebook.  
"No, but sometimes I have to work late so the campus management kindly accommodated me in."  
"I see" Bane wrote a little more. "So why were you here on the night of the break in?"  
"I had pipes to fix, look – it's all in the work log." He took out a scrappy and wide old book and flipped to the date in question.  
"See?"  
Bane took a look. "Mind if we take that with us?"  
"Hell no!" Bane closed the book and put it back in its place. "I've got tons of work to do, so unless you've got a warrant…"  
Bane frowned. He knew no judge would give him a warrant just to see if a work log is authentic, based on nothing.  
"Besides, it's not mine to give away. You'd have to get the Campus manager here."  
Bane realized that Crais was right. He had absolutely nothing.  
"Thank you for your time, Mr. Crais." He said and left.  
This was really going nowhere.

---

Grissom dropped Sara off at Campus and walked her to her room.  
As they arrived, she opened the door and turned back to him.  
"Well then." she said.  
"Sara…" he started.  
"No." She said, still looking down. "I made a fool of myself."  
"Yes you have," he agreed, and she was almost offended.  
"But only because you lost sight of what really matters. You didn't want to find an answer; you wanted quick, swift and immediate justice."  
Sara didn't reply.  
"Sara, things don't work that way. Justice doesn't work that way."  
"Well it should," she said. "I don't know if Mark did it or not," she admitted, "but whoever did is now free and you'll probably never catch him."  
Grissom didn't reply because he knew she was right.  
She almost cried and then jumped on him and hugged him tightly. Grissom was caught off guard and froze. She tilted her head a little and rested it on his shoulder. Grissom loosened his muscles and raised his arms, putting them around her. He pulled her a little closer to him, comforting her, when she suddenly broke loose and before he could realize what she was doing, she was already kissing him. And although her eyes were closed, his weren't – and he saw tears running down her cheeks.  
When she finally broke off a little, she looked straight into his eyes and saw a cold, almost apologizing stare.  
"Sara" he said, and the tone of his sound broke her heart once again. "I'm going back home tomorrow."  
Sara started trembling.  
Grissom tightened his grip on her shoulders. "Don't give in to this!" he said.  
"With you gone…" she said and brushed his arms off, "now they'll never catch him."  
She was distancing herself, he realized, by putting her dismay in the case rather than in her emotions. He felt almost relieved, and couldn't help but to want to hug her again. He didn't, and instead just froze.  
Sara looked down at her feet again. "I'm going to be a criminal investigator." She announced.  
Grissom suddenly awoke. "What?"  
"I'm going to become a criminal investigator, to make sure that this never happens again."  
"Sara, you can't stop every…"  
"I'm going to make sure that poor criminalistics never allow a rapist to go free."  
"Poor criminalistics?" Grissom was this time genuinely offended. "Sara, vigilance is admirable - but that's not what criminalistics are about!"  
"This is about how Donna's assailant is still at large," she said and turned around to walk inside, "well he wouldn't have been so under my watch."  
"Sara…" He wasn't sure what to say.  
She turned back to him and her expression completely changed from the cold and determined look she had earlier to a softer and more personal expression. "Goodbye, Gil" she said and closed the door slowly.  
Grissom sighed. Poor girl.  
A minute later she opened the door again and peeked outside but he was already gone.

---

"Your papers are out" Detective Bane told Grissom and gave him the copy. "Your flight leaves tonight."  
Grissom stared at the papers a while and threw them down at the table. "We should have caught this guy." He said.  
"I don't see how," Bane admitted, "we didn't have enough on anybody. Many times that's just the way it is, you know that."  
"Yeah, well, if we had more time…"  
"But we don't," Bane said, "the D.A. wants us to take care of other things, things that are less of a goose chase."  
"The D.A. should get his priorities straight!" Grissom exclaimed.  
"Come on, you know how this works." Bane preached. "What's gotten into you?"  
Grissom realized he was right. It wasn't the first time he didn't catch an assailant.  
"I guess the girl did."  
Bane let out a smile and then they both rose to their feet and shook hands. "It was a pleasure working with you, Dr. Grissom. Your reputation does you no justice."  
"I think we're well beyond those pleasantries, Detective. It genuinely was a pleasure working with you. If only the circumstances were different…"  
Bane nodded in acknowledgement.  
Grissom took his things and left, heading back for his hotel room.  
That very night, as the plane took off, he spotted a small decorative lake, and a little wooden bridge going over it. And although he knew it wasn't Harvard, he couldn't help but imagine young Sara Sidle, his star pupil, standing on the bridge, looking over at the calm waters late at night. He knew, however, that she'd probably never do that again.


	10. Epilogue

**Epilogue**  
"I'm taking my break now, Doctor" she said to Doctor Letterman, the chief coroner of the San Francisco Coroner's office.  
"Sure, Sara." he said and went back to his papers.  
She got herself a diet coke and started loitering around as usual. She saw two men walking down the hallway that looked like criminal investigators and decided to follow them. Naturally, she couldn't help but to eavesdrop:

_-"She had no defensive wounds?"  
-"No, but the coroner said that she may have been drugge. He's still waiting for the tox reports."_

Sara finished her coke and went back to her office. She was an assistant there and didn't actually do anything but paperwork but she liked hanging around the coroners and the investigators, where the so called action was.  
She walked back into her office and noticed that her boss, Dr. Letterman, was gone. He left her a little note – "Had an emergency call, I'm in the lab."  
'Emergency call?' she thought. 'He operates on dead guys!'  
She shrugged and started going through the paperwork again, when she noticed she had to ship out a report that he had forgotten to sign and was pretty urgent.  
She went into the lab and the good doctor was there examining some poor man's body.  
"Hey, I need you to sign the report on the Donavan case," she said.  
"Put it there, I'll get right to it." He replied. He was in the middle of cracking open the guy's ribs and couldn't really leave it at the moment.  
Sara placed the file onto the desk and walked closer to the body, looking over the doctor's shoulder. "What's his story?"  
"This guy," the coroner said and wiped the sweat off his brow, "this guy was found floating face down in his own swimming pool."  
"And you're opening him up to see…. If he's filled with water?"  
The coroner laughed. "Close enough. I'm checking to see whether there's water in his lungs."  
"Oh." Sara observed as he cut through the lung and although she couldn't tell what was going on, he seemed to know what he was doing.  
"Is that water?" she asked.  
"No," he answered, "but that doesn't mean he didn't…"  
"Yeah, I know." She said. "It doesn't mean he didn't drown. The body automatically reacts to drowning and the vocal cords at the top of the trachea constrict to prevent water from entering the lungs."  
"Very good, Sara." The doctor was impressed. "It's called laryngospasm; in fact, in many cases of drowning – the C.O.D. is actually asphyxia, we also call it 'dry drowning'. We should be able to know for sure by checking stomach content, which we would have to do anyway."  
"Stomach content?" she was genuinely intrigued.  
"Yes, he may have water in his stomach," he added, and before he could explain she cut in – "Which would help us indicate whether he drowned while conscious or not."  
"Yes, but regardless – we have to check every single organ. That's very good though, Sara. You catch on quick."  
"Thank you," she blushed and brushed her hair back, "I actually took a short forensic science seminar back in college."  
"You did? Your file didn't say anything about it"  
"Well, it was sort of unofficial," she commented, "long story."  
"Anyway, I still have a lot of work to do. Want to stay and watch?"  
"I'd love to!"

---

"You're in!" Doctor Letterman said – almost five years later.  
"Yes!" She smiled and hugged him. "Thank you!"  
"You better be the best damn CSI there is, though, Sidle! I had to pull every last string I still have in this department, it's **_my_** reputation on the line here too!"  
"I won't let you down." She was ecstatic.  
"Why don't you come over tonight? Jennifer and I would love to have you over to celebrate."  
"I'd love to." she said and smiled.  
"I have to go; Jennifer wants me to pick up the kids. See you tonight?"  
"Sure," she smiled, "see ya'."  
Sara was the happiest she'd ever been in… a long while. Starting tomorrow, she will be a CSI trainee! After five years of getting the scraps from the coroner's office, taking seminars and tagging along to real investigators just to learn the craft, she was now finally going to be the real thing. She even dated a criminalist for a month just to learn more about it. And now she was going to be an investigator herself.  
Well, she was actually going to be a rookie first, but hey, you have to start somewhere.  
She walked back to her office and started packing up all her stuff. Once everything was packed and ready to go, she took a five minute break and suddenly she froze. From across the lab, she saw a man, walking around in a lab coat, examining a body and talking to one of the coroners. She could have sworn it was Gil Grissom.  
She was too far away to tell for sure and it had been more than several years since she met him but suddenly she lost her breath. She just kept gazing at him for five minutes, until he finished his examination and she hid behind her little cubicle. She was actually pretty sure it was him, but… should she approach him?  
Memories started flooding back in her mind. She remembered the bridge back on Campus and how she had met him there the night after she accidentally walked into his lecture. She remembered how they bonded and how she covered him when it rained. She then remembered how he covered her the following night and how they sat at his temporary apartment, trying to solve his riddle. She remembered how they kissed - and how everything went downhill from there on.  
She couldn't bear to approach him, not after so long. He probably wouldn't remember her, anyway.  
But what if he would? She had to find out!  
She ran out of her office and looked around the corridors. Where was he?  
She went into the lab where he had been earlier and saw that it was empty. He had disappeared into thin air!  
"Hey Jack," she called the desk clerk from the lab phone, "who was just in Lab 2?"  
"Oh, that was Doctor Norman and some investigator from Vegas."  
"Vegas?" she repeated, "do you have him on the log?"  
"Yeah," he said, "Dr. Gil… Grismond?"  
"Grissom." she corrected him and her heart skipped a beat.  
"Oh, yeah! Oh, by the way, I heard you got into the CSI program, good luck."  
But she already hung up and was halfway outside. She ran down the stairs and looked at the street – and apart for some casual traffic, it was pretty empty. No Gil Grissom, no Doctor Norman… Nothing.  
She went back inside, saddened. She missed him – in many ways.

---

Several months later, Sara finished her training and started working full time job in the San Francisco crime lab. She was still a rookie, so she was naturally given low-key assignments; mostly processing work.  
It started out like any other Tuesday and she was called into processing room 1 to go through some garbage collected at a crime scene. Being the new blood, she was given all the dirty work.  
Sara spilled the content of the trash bags onto the processing table and started assorting everything she found, first by relevance to the case and then by function, when suddenly she saw a not-so-little black beetle crawling carelessly out of the pile of trash. She put out a little smile and looked closely at the little creature.  
"Hi there, little fella'," she smiled, "feeding on leftovers?"  
The bug didn't respond.  
"Of course you are." she sighed. "I think I'm going to name you Wallace"  
"Actually," a voice startled her. "It's a she."  
She turned around and her heart stopped; in the entrance to the processing room stood none other than Doctor Gil Grissom.  
"Scarabaeinae Geotrupes," he added, "dung eater."  
She ignored the bug-talk. She hardly even heard what he said, all she could hear was her own heart pounding.  
After she didn't say anything for a couple of seconds, he spoke again. "How have you been, Sara?"  
"Good, good," she replied almost automatically, "I just finished my training and as you can see I'm going through some… trash." She suddenly realized how unappealing that was and how she probably smelt. He didn't seem to mind, though - or even notice for that matter.  
"What…. What are you doing here?" she asked.  
"I'm training the local entomologist," he said, "he's new to the trade and we're the only two entomologists in the west coast, so… I need to show him the ropes."  
"Oh," she said, "so… how long will you be…?"  
"Once a week, actually, for the next several months."  
Sara wasn't sure what to say now. She hated small talk.  
"Look, I have to finish up here…. Will you still be here later, around lunchtime?"  
Grissom smiled. "I'll see you then."

---

Funny how some things become routine. It was Tuesday again and again Sara had a lunch-date with Gil Grissom. It wasn't much of a date, as it was the two of them sitting down to lunch and just… talking. Mostly, she'd ask him for career advice, help on cases, that sort of stuff.  
Very early in their 'routine' she decided that as much as she admired him, she had to keep her emotions in check. Long distance relationships tend not to work, and besides, she was still a little stirred over what had happened so long ago, yet seemed so recent.  
She noticed that in the past five years since she first met him he had become a little introvert. He seemed distant, always pondering, a little quiet, even. She usually broke the ice with science talk and she loved nothing better than watching his eyes light up as he told her about this or that scientist, poet or playwright. She thought herself to be versatile but talking to him she realized there's so much more she can learn from him other than forensic sciences.  
This particular Tuesday, however, she couldn't find that light. He seemed ever more distanced, so she tried to get through with small talk, science talk and she even asked him a couple of questions about her current case even though she already knew the answers. When she realized she wasn't getting through, she looked directly at him. "What's going on?"  
"They caught the assailant from the Donna McCrea case." He said, looking her in the eye for the first time that day.  
Sara was shocked. "Who is it?" she asked, trembling.  
"Christopher Harris" he replied cautiously.  
"Christopher…." She repeated. "_**Professor**_ Christopher Harris!"  
"He tried to attack another student last week but apparently she was trained in self defense and knocked him down. When the police brought him in, he also confessed for raping Donna and two other girls in the past ten years."  
Sara was speechless. "All this time…" she was still trembling.  
"Mark Anderson may have been a jerk but he's not a rapist."  
Sara ran everything in her mind and suddenly everything fell into place. Harris had given her the notebook with Donna's pictures in them, it was him who said that it was Mark's notebook, and she never even bothered to check.  
"Professor Harris stayed with me after class several times, he never…"  
"The thing about serial rapists, there's hardly ever a way to know…" he tried getting technical but it didn't help. She was about to break.  
Grissom had hoped that by telling Sara about the capture of Donna's assailant he'd give her some closure. He now realized – a little too late – that closure was not what she was looking for. He knew far too well that there was never closure in cases like this. He now also realized how badly Sara herself was scarred by the incident even though she herself wasn't attacked. Back then, he told himself, he was too involved with the case to even notice.  
Sara's eyes were full of tears and she stared at her half empty plate.  
"You know…" she finally spoke, "I became a CSI because I thought Mark Anderson was guilty and I wanted to prove it."  
"Well it's a good thing you didn't," he said, and tried to get her to look at him, "but Sara, that was years ago. You're smarter than that now."  
"It's not about smarts, Grissom," she finally looked at him and his blood ran cold when he saw how intense the look in her eyes was.  
"It's only about smarts!" he said. "You can't let your heart blind your sight of what's really important!"  
"But then what else is there?" she cried.  
He wanted to answer 'the truth' but even he knew when the right words were the wrong ones.  
Instead he just slowly sent his hand forward and gently tried to wipe the tears off her cheek but she brushed his hand off in protest. She didn't want him to feel sorry for her. Grissom, however, did not falter - and again brushed her cheek and placed his hand in the back of her neck, petting her head gently.  
She tried again the push him away but she slowly gave in to his touch and let it all out.  
Grissom let her relax a moment and then looked at her with an admiring look. "You are a brilliant woman, Sara." She remembered how he told her that once, only that then he called her 'a girl'.  
"You're already proving to be a brilliant CSI," he added, and tried to get a response from her, "and one day, you're going to…"  
"Oh shut up." she smiled through the tears and he smiled back. His mission was accomplished.

---

"Norman pushed." he took a picture of the dummy and moved along to the next one.  
"Norman jumped." he took another picture and walked to the last dummy.  
"Norman fell."  
"Wouldn't you if you were married to Mrs. Roper?" he heard a voice say. He stopped in place and smiled. "I don't even have to turn around. Sara Sidle!"  
"That's me." her heart beat like crazy. She met him on almost a monthly basis now, and yet somehow knowing that she'll be moving in and seeing him every day now excited her. It felt new and exciting. She gave him a big smile as he approached her.  
"Still tossing simulation dummies? There are other ways to tell, you know?" she teased.  
"How? Computer simulation? No thanks. I'm a scientist I like to see it."  
Oh how she missed him…

**THE END**


End file.
